Interesting Posts and Articles #60

This (the first three items) may look like I am picking on people. And I am. But I am trying to convince them now that they are being foolish, so that when all this does not come to be, they do not seek new rationalizations and new delusions.

1. The mystics make a shift! Until this point, they were all convinced that Bush was Gog. That is, President "Gog" Bush. And they repeated that pun over and over, as if it were deeply significant. But what to do, as George Bush's second term is coming to a close? Especially if they want to remain hyperactive and hysterical that they know that mashiach is surely coming in the next day? The answer -- Obama is now Gog! Straight from the ever-manipulable Torah codes! See Shirat Devorah for details. Though I am certain, if McCain wins, they will find a Torah code for him as well. Meanwhile, DreamingOfMoshiach is standing firm with the President "Gog" Bush interpretation, and how he will cancel the US elections and remain president, as she pretends is predicted in the Zohar.
   
   
2. I thought I had a good joke with my post, "The Significance of Nachamu," and the meaning of the cow's moo. But now I see that DreamingOfMoshiach has bested me, except unfortunately she is serious. In Message of the Cows, she has a dream in which the secret speech of cows is explained. You see, if you take our approximation of what cows say -- an onomatopoeia, you see it is מו. And the cows are math whizzes, and speak in gematria, so they are saying 46. But not just any gematria of real words, but the gematria of the roshei teivos (first letters) of something, namely מב"ד, which stands for mashiach ben david, and not mordechai ben david. (She does not realize that they are really calling out חולב, meaning "milkman!" because they want to be milked. Cholev is, after all, also gematria 46.
   
   Meanwhile, the sheep are kametz challenged, or are Sefardi or Israeli, and so when they say "baa!" they really mean בָּא. And who is coming? MBD, of course! (A closer approximation is blet, with only half of the l and the t. Perhaps they are telling yeshiva guys to learn more blatt gemara.
   
   The Baal HaTurim is rolling in his grave, laughing out loud. (Something a bit more macabre that ROTFLOL.)
   
   
3. Yeranen Yaakov notes a post on Dreaming of Mashiach that Olmert's upcoming resignation is good news for geulah. To this end, she cites part of a statement from the midrash Sefer Eliyahu, in which is given the name of the king (unclear king of what) at the end of days. The full quote is:
   
   
   ואז אמר לי מיכאל קץ העתיד להיות באחרית הימים, בימיו של מלך העתיד להיות, הרמלת שמו, ויש אומרים תרמלא שמו. ר’ יהודה בן בתירא אומר כורש שמו, רבי שמעון בר יוחאי אומר הכשרא שמו, והלכה כרבי שמעון דאמר הכשרא שמו.
   
   
   And they take Tarmela and read it backwards to get אלמרת, Olmert. Except Olmert spells his name in Hebrew with a vav after the aleph, and with a tes rather than a tav. One would think the angel Michael would get it right. And anyway, it is a variant girsa, one of two possible. And if we stick by Sefer Eliyahu, it also paskens against that name and in favor of the name provided by (pseudo-)Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai -- הכשרא. And if we are going by Sefer Eliyahu, it also says Mashiach will come on Adar 20, which already passed this year. This is problematic for those who are expecting, based on other utter silliness, mashiach to come before Rosh haShana. Indeed, they using Sefer Eliyahu that mashiach is coming really soon, because the end of days must be during Olmert's rule, and Olmert is soon to step down. What naarishkeit.
   
   Moshe Yess is "misguided" in his own right with his own meshichist nonsense. But he makes some really good points, in comments in the post in 2006, about similar predictions. They make an extremely worthwhile read:
   

   It is not that I doubt that Moshiach's arrival is imminent. Nor do I deny that your highly interpretational reading of Sefer Eliyahu is possibly correct. And I believe that I and most of your fans want Moshiach as bad as you do.
   
   We seem to have developed a band of believers here whose premises include that Gog is Bush, Moshiach comes after Sharon falls, Olmert (or Perez)is Armelus, the Pekidah began in either one year or another and the result is a speculation "society" based upon all the above presumptions without one irrefutable proof that any of the presumptions is undeniably true.
   
   We Jews have been connecting Midrashic Moshiach-related dots to current events for millenia. Judaism is flooded with failed keitzim predicters using just such methods.
   
   So again I respectfully ask you...What do we have on the table before us (in the cold light of day) and which is ojective proof (and not influenced by wanting, interpretations or Faith) that we can point to and say that "This irrefutably proves that Moshiach is 3 hours, 6 months, 1 year or two years away?"

   and then
   

   Well I am not really surprised. I hope you are real comfortable with your imagined superior personal beliefs status. I am glad you have zero doubts about what is happening presently. Far from me to want to question your unassailable conclusions.
   
   What you sadly lack, however, is what my post addresses. A solid basis built upon facts...not highly selected midrashim to fit current events.
   
   One can knit a net of midrashim or pesukim that fit almost any situation. The Xians did that with Isaiah 53. Such a knit does not equal truth, however.

4. "Prenatal cell phone use tied to behavior." Except not really. Mothers who are prone to talk more on cell phones are also more prone to ignore their kids. And, as they also noted, they are more likely to smoke during pregnancy, which quite likely has more impact that cell phone radiation aimed at the head.
   
   Also, fears of radiation from granite countertops. But also nothing "concrete."
   
   
5. The world's oldest joke is purportedly Sumerian, from 1900 BCE. What would you say the oldest Biblical joke is? Hashem got some laughs with the promise of the birth of Yitzchak. And Shimon and Levi played a good practical joke on the city of Shechem...
   
   
6. Because you can't wait a single day without eating meat... Seen on a mailing list:
   

   Barbeque SIYUM THIS Sunday August 3!
   

   Please join us AND help spread the word for our second large Sunday eat and relax. We will have lots of food including salads and dessert, interactive board games and a really nice atmosphere!

   The official age group for this event is 30’s and 40’s. If this is not your exact age group … there are two ways you may look at it.
   
   Pass it on to your friend who is in the age range
   Come yourself anyway for the good food and company together with a friend!
   

   As an example, let’s say that you are 27. You might opt not to come but to suggest it to your friend. On the other hand, you might decide to come anyway so that you can eat and relax!

   If you would like to come please sign up right away since we would like to know how many are attending. Sign up by Friday noon for the $25 rate - it will go up after that.

   You can pay via check, cash or credit card. Check and cash should be dropped off at the address on the registration page of the website.

   I hope to see you there!

   www.eatnrelax.com

   Please join us for a
   Barbeque
   We will be making a Siyum on Meseches Sotah
   Vegetarian Burgers available upon request
   Glatt Kosher
   Sunday August 3 at 6:00 PM

   What? A Barbeque

   Why? To get together and meet people in a relaxed atmosphere.

   Where? Seaview Jewish Center 1585 E 98th Street - click on 'Directions' to find out more.

   When? Sunday August 3, 6:00 PM

   Ages? 30's and 40's

   Cost? $25 by Friday August 1 Noon
   ($36 if received by Motza'ei Shabbat/Saturday night
   $50 on Sunday and at the door)

   Sign up at www.eatnrelax.com

   On the other hand, it is quite likely that they are looking for a draw for this quasi-singles event, which is the ability to eat meat during the 9 days via a siyum, and Sunday is the only day people are available and not at work. It just seems a bit off to have this, the first day of the 9 days. Even though I could come up with several arguments in favor of it.
   

7. After a fairly long break, of about a month, On The Main Line is back with a post about Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky's defense of the Masoretic text.
   
   
8. An article on Slate about the taking of Obama's note. They also have an interesting tidbit:
   

   Has anyone ever grabbed a high-profile note from the Western Wall before? Yes. The last high-profile publication occurred in 1967, when Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Dayan had his prayer note taken from the wall by a reporter covering the Six-Day War.

Candle lighting today in Kew Gardens Hills is 7:52 PM.