Making a Kiddush For Grown Daughters

Rabbi Sedley tried tracking down the source for making a kiddush for a daughter that is born, disproving the common belief that it came from a story involving the Steipler:

Someone quoted an amazing story from the Steipler Gaon, related to this exact point. A person came to the Steipler and told him that he needed a blessing for his daughter. She was 27 years old and in need of a shidduch [marriage partner].

The Steipler asked him if it was his first daughter. The man replied that it was actually his third daughter. The Steipler then asked if when this daughter was born, her father made a Kiddush to celebrate her birth. The man admitted that although he had made celebrations when his first two daughters were born, by the third daughter, he, in fact, did not make a Kiddush to celebrate her birth.

The Steipler then advised him to go make a Kiddush for this 27 year old daughter.

He cites statements from the Steipler's son that the story is false.

Perhaps the story is attributed to the Steipler because of his name being synonymous with "shadchan." Or perhaps it really happened with the Belzer Rebbe. Or perhaps it is one of those stories that gets attributed to many different people, but happened either to one of them or none of them.

Regardless, the advice is a good one, and I would have given it myself, had the fellow come to me. Not for any of the mystical reasons that usually accompany the story:

"Who knows, there might have been some neighbor or someone you met in shul who you could have invited by saying 'come, I'm making a Kiddush, I had a new daughter born this week'. He would have come in and taken a piece of cake and a little kuggle. He would have made a 'lechayim' and taken a shot of whiskey and then wished you: 'you should have an easy upbringing for her and you should find a good shidduch and be able to marry her off to a fine Talmid Chochom'. You could have responded "AMEN!" But you did not let that happen. You prevented your daughter from receiving all those blessings.

but rather for more practical reasons.

That is, there is this established custom among some people of making this kiddush. He missed out on it. Therefore, he has an excuse now to make a kiddush in his daughter's honor. People will now come to the kiddush, hear that it is for his single daughter, and become aware that he has a daughter who is looking for a shidduch.

In effect, it is a debutante ball, or coming out party. But with the veneer of Jewishness, which is important in order for some elements to see it as acceptable.

In that respect, it is probably more effective when made for a grown daughter than for an infant. But then, whichever Rebbe gave this advice was quite possibly not intending that this have such wide-ranging applicability (if he even gave the aforementioned reason.) Note that even for an infant daughter, it has the effect of announcing it to the community, at which point we have to hope that the community has good memories.

Just my non-mystical take on this practice of late-kiddush, and this story.

Update: I forgot to include a link to Rabbi Sedley's blog, where he discusses it. Here is such a link.