Rav Aharon Kotler vs. Yaakov Avinu

In this week's parsha, Vayishlach, when Yaakov Avinu faces mortal danger, he prioritizes his family. Thus:

2. And he placed the maidservants and their children first and Leah and her children after, and Rachel and her Joseph last.		ב. וַיָּשֶׂם אֶת הַשְּׁפָחוֹת וְאֶת יַלְדֵיהֶן רִאשֹׁנָה וְאֶת לֵאָה וִילָדֶיהָ אַחֲרֹנִים וְאֶת רָחֵל וְאֶת יוֹסֵף אַחֲרֹנִים:
and Leah and her children after: The further back the more beloved. — [from Gen. Rabbah 78:8]		ואת לאה וילדיה אחרונים: אחרון אחרון חביב:
3. And he went ahead of them and prostrated himself to the ground seven times, until he came close to his brother.		ג. וְהוּא עָבַר לִפְנֵיהֶם וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ אַרְצָה שֶׁבַע פְּעָמִים עַד גִּשְׁתּוֹ עַד אָחִיו:
went ahead of them: He said, “If that scoundrel comes to fight, let him fight with me first.” - [from Gen. Rabbah 78:8]		עבר לפניהם: אמר אם יבא אותו רשע להלחם, ילחם בי תחילה:

He did not say: "I am a great talmid chacham, who learned in yeshiva Shem veEiver. Better that I flee and live to learn another day. Too bad for my family, who must serve as cannon fodder."

Rav Aharon Kotler, zt’l

I don't know if this was intended, or if the story was true, but an article in the Five Towns Jewish Times seems to put forth different priorities as exemplary:

“Rav Aharon Kotler had also dropped to the floor and I found myself right next to him. I saw him in a state of agitation. The gadol hador was spread out on the floor, the Torah itself was on the ground. And then I heard a low voice, the low, distinct voice of Rav Aharon. He too realized that with bombs falling indiscriminately one after the other his life was in grave danger. What, however, did Rav Aharon do? I heard him talking, talking to Hashem. Listen to what the Gaon Hador said!” The words that I heard next have remained etched in my memory to this very day.

“What did I hear Rav Aharon whisper?! I heard him begging Hashem, beseeching Him with every fiber of his being—‘Please Ribono Shel Olam, lomer doch leben! Ich vil noch lernen dayn heiligeh Torah—Please let me live! I still want to learn Your Holy Torah!’

“He did not think about his family, his Rebbetzin, his children and grandchildren; he did not think about his beloved yeshiva, he did not think about anything other than beseeching Hashem in what he thought might be his last moment on this earth, begging, ‘Ribono Shel Olam, lomer doch leben! Ich vil noch lernen dayn heiligeh Torah!’”

I don't know if his family was present at the wedding. I am going to assume not. But regardless, I don't know that this level of uncaring for the welfare of one's family, with learning Torah as the only focus, is truly something to be celebrated. A similar message was unfortunately being put forth after the passing of Rav Elyashiv, where we were breathlessly told how he didn't give a darn about his family, in hundreds of different ways, but only valued Torah study. Torah is a tremendous gift, but it is so because it is Hashem's teaching of how to conduct ourselves in a caring and moral way in this world. If one really does not think about one's family, then I wonder at the value of said Torah learning.

Regardless, I would have interpreted this as bargaining for more time, based on the zechuyot he knew he had, and would not read such a potentially negative message into his actions.